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Sunday, June 27, 2010

When I was Younger


I once had a crazy yoga teacher named Tanya. I say had, because she was fired from her job shortly after being hired. Anyways, she was a little... odd. She used to ask us if we had 'hot mothers' [ meaning menopausal]. I don't really know why, I suppose she just felt that it was her business. Class after class she would make us stay in downward dog for more time than was humanly possible. We were constantly manhandled by her rheumatic hands and creaky breathing. God only knows how old she was. Her favourite thing to shout was, 'IN INDIA WE WASH THE FLOOR LIKE THIS!'. Whereupon shouting this she would crouch down and swing her arms across the floor. I could insert a politically incorrect statement here, but I have no idea about the going ons of India, and will therefore let it be. On September 9th she asked us what day it was. Being a group of teenagers we looked around nervously, and a boy put up his hand. 'Is it the day that Beatles Rockband comes out?' If looks could kill that boy would definitely have been reduced to a pile of ash. 'NO!', she cried, 'It's my BIRTHday!' As punishment, we were forced into downward dog again.
Once the teachers caught wind of her teaching methods she was let go. Not that any of us really minded.




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